A Conversation With Gabe

This is a conversation Gabe and I had while riding my bike home from his school today. The stuff in italics is what was running through my head during all of this.
M=Me/Mom
G=Gabe

G: Mom, God is really important right?
M: Yup. He is a pretty important fella.
G: And Jesus, he is pretty important too, right?
M: Yup. He is important too. Oh man, where is this conversation going?!?
..........LONG PAUSE..........
G: Mom?
M: Yes Gabe?
G: Then who is more important God or Jesus?
M: Ummm, well, God is I guess. Right? Yes! No, wait Jesus died for our sins. That trumps all, right? No, wait. God created us and everything so He is more important. Ok, I'm correct. Really? Holy cow! I'm totally not knowing! 27+ years of church and I can't readily say who is more important!! I suck. My parents would be so ashamed. Ok. I'm going with God. Final answer.
G: Why? Jesus died for us. Nothing is better than dying for other people my teacher said. He's thinking what I'm thinking. See, I'm not the only one confused. Of course, he's 5. He's supposed to be confused. Oh this is just great. Who decided I was ready to be a parent?
M: Jesus dying for us was very important. But God made us, and He made Jesus, and He..
G: ...made the whole world! So if God had not made us or Jesus then, well, umm, I don't know. If He had not done that, what would everything be? What would, well, WHAT would BE?
M: I'm not sure I understand what you are asking Gabe.
G: Me either. Ok, so I am NOT supermom. But, those "Raising Your Child Right" books say I should take advantage of moments like this. Ones where I can talk about God when it is already on my kids brain. Ok. So then. Ummm, what would his Dad ask him...Dad! That's a good topic....
..........LONG PAUSE..........
M: Gabe, do you know who Jesus's dad is?
G: Uh, nope. Who's his daddy? Did he really just say that? Who's his daddy? Sounds a lot like "Who's your daddy?" What TV shows are we letting him watch that we shouldn't be that he heard that phrase!!??!
M: Well, God is.
G: Really? Ok. I didn't know that.
M: Do you remember that Michael and I have told you that God is also a daddy to all of us? Even though we have a daddy here on earth, God is our daddy also.
G: Is he the biggest?
M: What? Who? Is who the biggest?
G: God.
M: Well, yeah, I guess so. He's big I guess. What on earth does he mean by "big?" What am I suppsoed to say when he asks me how tall God is?
G: Then he is our BIG DADDY! And Michael is my little daddy.
M: That's one way of looking at it. Don't know that Michael will like being a "little daddy." Might save that comment for the next time Michael needs an ego deflating. Oh, I am mean. Shouldn't have had that thought.
G: Looking at what?
M: Humm? What did you say? I'm wrapped up in my mean thoughts here and I wasn't listening to you. I wasn't really listening! Great, now I am a bad mother as well. My kid's trying to have a real "learning moment" and I wasn't really paying attention to him. I am pathetic.
G: You said, "That's one way of looking at it."
M: Oh right. Never mind what I said. It's doesn't make any sense.
G: Um, ok. I feel bad. I wasn't paying attention. I'll ask him another question and this time I WILL pay attention! We are not through with this learning moment yet!
..........LONG PAUSE..........
M: Gabe, do you know where God lives?
G: In heaven, right?
M: Right. And heaven is a really great place. Better than anyplace on the whole earth.
G: Better than Alabama? Oh just great. We take our kid to China. Let him experience a whole other culture. Take him to the Great Wall for pete's sake! One of the Seven Wonders of the World! And the best place to him is redneck Alabama!?!?! Ok, so I love it there too. But still, Alabama!?!?! I knew I shouldn't have let my mother give him all that ice cream and sweet tea!
M: Yes Gabe. Better than Alabama.
..........LONG PAUSE..........
G: Then let's go.
M: Go? Where? Home? We are on our way there now Gabe.
G: NO! Not home. To heaven. If it's the best place than I want to go. Now.
M: Well, it's not that simple Gabe. People only get to heaven after they die. Oh man! Oh man! I just said the "D" word. We don't even let Gabe say the "D" word. And I just dropped it like that! Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Now what's he going to say? Maybe I can head this off at the pass.
M: Well Gabe, what do you want for a snack when we get...
G: Die! Die! You said die Mom! Oh jeez. Too late for a subject change. I hope this conversation goes well.
M: Yes Gabe, I said die. It's not a bad word you know. It's only bad when you yell it while you are pretending to shoot someone. Again, with the stuff he has seen on TV I guess. Though I am certain we don't let him watch shooting stuff. Then again, he has been watching Michael and I play Lego Indiana Jones on the Wii. Crap! I am a bad parent!
G: Who dies? And who goes to Heaven where God is?
M: Well, everyone dies sometime. And people who have a good heart, who love God and Jesus, who always try to be good, are the people who get to heaven.
G: Mom, I'm scared to die.
M: Oh Gabe. You don't have to be scared to die. If you die, you will get to go to heaven, the best place ever, and be with God. And remember, you just said you wanted to go there.
G: Uh yeah. But NOT if it means I have to die first!
M: I understand Gabe. But really, you don't have to be afraid to die. It will be ok if you do. You will be with your Big Daddy. And it will be BETTER than Alabama even. I promise!! Not too shabby. I handled that pretty well I think. But, enough of this "learning moment" stuff. Time to wrap it up. I'm running out of good answers. Besides, I'm not sure I am the best person to be answering these questions. I mean, I couldn't even decide who was more important, God or Jesus! Hopefully we are done.
..........LONG PAUSE..........
Oh good. He's run out of questions. We ARE done!
G: Mom? If God will be my daddy in Heaven, then who will be my mommy? I should have known. There is no such thing as a kid running out of questions.
M: I guess in Heaven you won't have a mommy-God. You won't need one. Daddy-God will be enough. Both God and Heaven will be so great and so perfect! And they will be enough.
G: Mom, I just don't think so. I WILL need you! I WILL NEED A MOMMY! I love you. You HAVE to be there too! I NEED A MOMMY AND I NEED IT TO BE YOU!!!!!
M: Ok. Gabe. I understand how you feel.
G: Good. You better be there. And if I get there first I'm waiting with God until you get there. Do you understand me? Ha! He's using my own line on me.
M: Yes Gabe. I do understand. And I will do my best.
G: Good. Because I can't be in Heaven without a mommy. And Heaven will not be the best place ever if you are not there! So BE THERE! Oh man. Here come the tears!! And they are coming, coming, and coming!! I love that little kid SOOOO much sometimes! Humm, I wonder if I should remind him that he will want Michael there too. Nope, I'm going to be selfish. Make this a"Mommy & Son" moment. I'll use this moment to console myself when he is 16 and hates my guts. I'll remind myself that once upon a time he thought Heaven wouldn't be the best place unless I was there with him!!!! Oh jeez. More tears are coming...